The Grocery Store

 Dom, about 30 minutes AFTER I have told him everything we need to get at the store today: “What do we need to get at the store today?”

Me: “I just told you the whole list, did you not listen the first time?”

Dom: “I doubt it, and I probably won’t listen the second time either.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is my life, people.

The Pee Smell

 Me: Why does the toilet always smell like piss? Do you dribble or what? 

Dom: I can’t smell any pee! You can’t smell your own innards!