Life With Dom: July 2019

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

DOM: What’s the name of the female cowboy from Toy Story?

Me: You mean the cowgirl?

DOM: I just want to be home. Alone. In my bed. PETTING MY CAT!

DOM: Jolie’s always complaining about her diverticulitis. That’s BS. She’s never dived a day in her life!

Tonight, Dom and I wanted to go to a vegan jazz and rib fest, but when we got there all the food was gone.

We ended up at Melt downtown where we sat for 45 minutes for our food and never got it, so we left.

We drove around and went to Aladdin’s where there was a festival in the middle of the road, and that’s when Dom lost it:

DOM: I’m about 10 seconds away from mowing over small women and children!!

Me, driving with Dom through the short north: Trism... what the heck is that?

Dom, hearing Trison, not Trism: It’s where transgender people go to prison.

(For the record, it’s a bar).

Dom is seriously the best. What a dork. Life would suck without him.

Tonight, he told me he wants his quotes printed on merch and sold at his funeral.

DOM: I want this stuff printed on merch and sold at my funeral. It’s good stuff.

“I’m an E-talian, not an I-talian. Now I’m a Dead-talian.”

While visiting my mom in Pittsburgh, Jake begins brushing his teeth.

DOM: What’s that sound?

ME: It’s Jake brushing his teeth.

DOM: With what, a chainsaw?!

DOM (after trying to drink through the environmentally friendly, biodegradable straws at Eden Burger):

These people and their straws! Just give me a suck hole!